i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
