so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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