I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Drake has all the answers
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
