I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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