If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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