i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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