My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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