I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
