FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
