For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
