is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
