I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
