Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
babies were throwing up all over the place
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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