I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize