Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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