The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
