Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
