is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
