Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
