Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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