I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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