Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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