help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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