They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
