if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
