Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
