I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
