you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
