A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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