I must be too annoying 4 u.
White coat. Heels.
Yo dont text me then not text me
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
