Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
