oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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