it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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