she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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