I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
