im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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