Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
