she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Drake has all the answers
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
