so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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