I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
