no. you can't hotbox the world.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
