Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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