Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we're making bets on your personal life
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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