if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
