I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
They have beer where we have blood.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize