She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
