he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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