Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
