If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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