4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
