So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
