Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
