I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
