im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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