You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have demons in me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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