Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
