i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
