Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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