I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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