Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
