So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Mom said you looked used
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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