I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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