living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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