i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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