Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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