I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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